There are those who decide to make a change in their lives, and actually make a change. Then there are those who feel change is expected of them, or know they need to change, but choose the quick fix solutions while keeping the rest of their life the same. These people do not really want to change.
I have lived my whole life watching people in such situations. When what they are doing causes no harm then I can see how it may be difficult to justify changing their ways. When their actions are detrimental to themselves the choice to hold on to these habits is questionable. More so, when these actions begin to effect those around them and start to cause serious damage to themselves, their relationships and the lives of those they come in contact with, they need to make a permanent choice to change their lives as a whole to prevent these actions from ever reoccurring.
The action with the most impact that I have seen is addiction. Addicts are quick fix people. They want that "drug", whatever it may be, as quickly as possible and at whatever cost. Addicts come in all shapes and sizes as do their drugs. These people need help, but they must also accept the help otherwise they will not make the necessary changes to deter the detrimental actions from continuing. Today's society lives and breathes "quick fix", which sometimes makes it difficult to determine who is actually addicted to something and who is simply there for the fad and will move on.
Over a year ago a women at my work place announced she was taking a leave of absence. She had scheduled to have gastric bypass surgery and would be off work for several months as she recovered. During her recovery time I saw her at the gym several times a week. She changed her diet, her habits, her clothes (of course) and even her hair. She had made a choice to start over. Before the surgery she was morbidly obese. After several months of recovery she was one of the smaller women at work. Was this a quick fix solution for her? Since she is not a personal friend I can not say. It seemed that she was using the surgery as a catalyst to change her life as a whole, but could another avenue served the same purpose?
More recently another women at work had the same procedure done. A member of my family also had it done. It seems more and more common that doctors are prescribing this type of surgery. Why is nothing being done before hand to help their patients avoid this apparent "only option left"? Why are these always women? Is this not a viable solution for men as well? Has the convenience oriented stagnant nature of our society actually brought us to the point where people will allow their own health to get to the point where only medical intervention can save them from themselves?
The person in my family, another women by the way, I have obviously known all my life. She has several siblings that, while not super fit, are not obese. She is, or was, morbidly obese and has been so most of her life. While I support her decision to take this step, I am not so sure that this is a permanent life change for her YET. I recall hearing a number of times "Why am I not losing weight?" and when questioned about eating habits was told "I only had a chocolate bar for lunch". The undeniable fact is that the human body only gains weight when the caloric intake is greater than the expended energy in a day. Questions such as hers were simply signs of denial. Smaller portions of crappy food don't solve the problem. One item can have hundreds of more calories then a full healthy meal, and your body will still be looking for food to satisfy the nutrient intake it requires. The choice must be made to change your eating habits, whether before major surgery or not. I suppose only time will tell if she is actually committed to this change. I hope she is.
Unfortunately, all too often, those in denial and those who simply think they are too far gone, are enabled by the people around them. YES those with the problem need to make a choice. Once they have made that choice the people around them need to support that, whether it means congratulating them on making a good choice or being upfront and blunt when they are not. Turning a blind eye as someone slowly falls back into old habits does not help them. My uncle is beyond morbidly obese. I'm not even sure he can leave his house anymore. His home is falling apart because he can not clean it. He lost his job because he used up all his sick days. He will die. Yet, his step children continue to bring him food. My Aunt called the paramedics to take him to the hospital for medical treatment. He refused to go; that night she left him. She, however, continues to pay the bills on a house she no longer is living in. This is an extreme situation, but it is reality. He is now beyond the help of surgery and beyond the help of friends and family. Unless he makes a choice he will die, most likely alone.
This post may seem harsh. It may seem that I have no sympathy. I have lived my life watching family fall apart and people become estranged because of this type of addiction. That is what it is. An addiction to food. A choice that food is the most important thing to you; more than money, more than family, more than your own health and well being. I hope that anyone that reads this understands that I want the most healthy loved filled life for everyone - family and friends. Anyone who is suffering with a weight problem or food addiction, please get help. Make the choice and make the changes necessary to uphold that choice. I for one will stand by you, good comments or bad. There are people who love you and want you around a long time. You can say you love them by choosing to love yourself.
Choose.
FBM
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