Whether I am truly an obsessive compulsive person or not, my love for organization is a fact! Periodically I will ask my husband if he minds if I take on a little project, though I think there is no need since he seems to actually appreciates it. I have spent hours reading through organizational books quite happily; making notes on which projects could be applied to our home or how I can modify them for our use. My daughter laughed at me one day saying "Mom, you are organizing your plans to organize!". It was true.
Here are a couple of ideas that I found actually useful, and I hope someone else will too:
- Use an accordion file to store your kids art work and at the end of the year choose the ones you want to keep long term and place away in their "keep sake" file.
- Keep automotive supplies in a laundry basket in your trunk (wind shield washer fluid, jumper cables etc.) so they are not strewn all over.
- Place a small basket on the back of the toilet for extra rolls, and the larger package under the sink for refilling.
- Get smaller baskets from the dollar store for under the sink in the bathroom, the medicine cabinet, the linen cupboard etc. to organize all the little things that tend to get lost or jumbled.
- Put a full set of bed sheets folded inside one of the pillow cases. Keeps them all together and make is easier to grab the set (especially for kids).
- Collect all your cards and place them in one box with a pen and address stamp. I also keep a list of family and friend addresses in the back of the box. Easy to do a quick thank-you note, Christmas cards, invites etc.
- Keep old coffee tins (with lids) or glass pasta jars for craft supplies. Clear glass or plastic is best so there is no rummaging for what you want.
- Try to keep boxes in the storage room to the same size; easier to stack and move around as needed. Also label with masking tape "Mom's Clothes", "Winter Hats & Mitts", on all sides so there it is easy to identify contents.
- Use ice cube trays to keep earrings and other jewellery organized in a drawer but also separated so it is easier to find pairs.
- Use little baskets in your underwear drawer to separate socks, underwear, bras etc (especially if you don't like to fold them).
- Keep all gift bags, tissue paper, and boxes folded down and stored in one of the larger gift bags.
- Small glass jars can also be used for all the lose screws, wall plugs, and other hardware that is rolling around the bottom of the tool box.
- Recycle last years Christmas cards into beautiful gift tags for next year (you know you didn't want to throw them away anyway).
- Use tissue boxes for clothes pins, plastic bags, remove a side and use for lose gravy or spice packets.
- Put all electronic charges and cables in one place. Wrap a bit of masking tape around the end and label what it belongs to.
I really like the whole "Everything has a place" concept, as well as "Birds of a Feather SHOULD flock together" - put like things together! I'll see if I can think of some more, but right now the little man is waking up.
FBM
Tuesday 27 March 2012
Monday 26 March 2012
OCD or Just Organized
Over the course of the past eight months (also known as my maternity leave) I have been working on organizing our home. Progressively I tore apart, repacked, labelled and restored everything in the storage room, downstairs "kitchen" (we use to have a tenant), spare room, family room, laundry room, kitchen, and our bedroom. I also reorganized the book shelf in our living room; fiction by authors last name, non-fiction by a lose version of the Dewy Decimal system. Now that the weather is getting warmer I am itching to get outside and clean up the yard, garden, shed, add more support to the fence, and reorganize our deck area. I also have plans for our basement that my husband would not let me start until the warmer weather hit, mainly due to his claim that construction work should wait until you can put the tore down walls outside until the weekend dump run.
All this organizing makes me wonder if I am actually, clinically, OCD or just love to have things organized. When my daughter asks me where a particular piece of stationary supply can be found I love that I can give her simple directions to its home without a second thought. I find it very satisfying when I open our linen cupboard to see nice neat piles of towels and sheets. But when I open said closet to find face cloths in a lump, fitted sheets in a ball, and towels falling down on me I cringe, sigh or get down right irritated. Why is it so difficult to put the bowls with the bowls and the plates on the shelf below? The baby bottle lids, nipple, and rings take up much less room when they are assembled before putting them in the drawer, don't they? And if you put the bowls on the front of the dish rack, the plates at he back, the cutting boards on the side, and all the silverware with handles down, doesn't the drying rack hold more?
It probably wouldn't be so bad if I didn't actually feel irritated that no one else sees the logic in how I organize things and does their best to follow my lead. Fact is, they probably are doing their best, I'm just too crazy about how I like things that I need to fix it and wonder why they didn't do it the way I think it should be done in the first place.
I think the next post I will share a few of my organizational ideas. Hopefully, if anyone happens to read the posts, you can weight in on whether I am actually Obsessive Compulsive or if I just have a knack for efficiency and organization.
FBM
All this organizing makes me wonder if I am actually, clinically, OCD or just love to have things organized. When my daughter asks me where a particular piece of stationary supply can be found I love that I can give her simple directions to its home without a second thought. I find it very satisfying when I open our linen cupboard to see nice neat piles of towels and sheets. But when I open said closet to find face cloths in a lump, fitted sheets in a ball, and towels falling down on me I cringe, sigh or get down right irritated. Why is it so difficult to put the bowls with the bowls and the plates on the shelf below? The baby bottle lids, nipple, and rings take up much less room when they are assembled before putting them in the drawer, don't they? And if you put the bowls on the front of the dish rack, the plates at he back, the cutting boards on the side, and all the silverware with handles down, doesn't the drying rack hold more?
It probably wouldn't be so bad if I didn't actually feel irritated that no one else sees the logic in how I organize things and does their best to follow my lead. Fact is, they probably are doing their best, I'm just too crazy about how I like things that I need to fix it and wonder why they didn't do it the way I think it should be done in the first place.
I think the next post I will share a few of my organizational ideas. Hopefully, if anyone happens to read the posts, you can weight in on whether I am actually Obsessive Compulsive or if I just have a knack for efficiency and organization.
FBM
Monday 19 March 2012
"Love and work are the only two real things in our lives. They belong together, otherwise it is off. Work is in itself a form of love.” ― Marilyn Monroe
My husband told me about the wise words of his younger brother. I believe the information originated from a friend who studied psychology. He said that love is expressed in five basic ways. At first I was skeptical of this, but once my husband explained it to me it actually made a lot of sense. It is important to realize that some people respond better to one or two of these items and also may not even recognize others. Figuring out how to express love to your significant other, or even just those you care about, in a way they understand will ensure they get the message.
Physical Touch
This of course includes, but is not only about, sex, so I'll get that one out of the way. Physical expressions can include hugs, kisses, a light touch, or maybe even just a hand on the small of your back. Being physically present is important, but also not using touch in a harmful way, like neglecting someone, can be key.
Acts of service
The little things we do for others, like chores around the house, that tell them that you love them and care. By removing tasks from their to do list they see your love through your actions. Sometimes we can do these things in secret, so that the recipient only knows that someone cared enough to (eg. shovel their walk), which can let them know they are not alone. Falling through on commitments can be very detrimental to a relationship, or not pulling your weight around the house.
Gift giving
This is stereotypical with couples who are courting or dating. They may send each other flowers or chocolates, but the thoughtful gifts are much more valuable. Taking the time to give a gift that shows you know the person, and not necessarily that you have a lot of money, speaks volumes. Taking someone out for dinner, making them a scarf, or even just sending them a "thinking of you" note, are all expressions of love. Doing little things daily or gifts with out occasion can sometimes mean even more.
Words
Love notes obviously also fall under this category. Sometimes we forget to tell people in words how we actually feel. It is important to articulate our emotions as well as express them through actions. Compliments for no reason, telling someone why you love them and of course the very words "I Love You" are very powerful. Likewise, an insult can be devastating.
Time
You could do all the chores in the world for someone, but if they recognize time together as an expression of love, you may be having an alternative effect. Putting everything else on hold to spend time and pay attention to that person tells them that they are the most important thing. Take the time to listen without distraction. Make sure that, when you commit to time together, you keep that date and don't postpone for something else. Most of all, be present and make sure that you spend quality time with your loved ones. They will hear "I love you" in the silence of your undivided attention.
Today I would like to challenge everyone who reads this post to make a conscious effort for the next week, or even month, to express at least one of these forms of love every day. If we all get in the habit of it I think those whom we love will not only feel our love more, but perhaps subconsciously pass on these acts of love to others. And couldn't we all use more love?
FBM
Physical Touch
This of course includes, but is not only about, sex, so I'll get that one out of the way. Physical expressions can include hugs, kisses, a light touch, or maybe even just a hand on the small of your back. Being physically present is important, but also not using touch in a harmful way, like neglecting someone, can be key.
Acts of service
The little things we do for others, like chores around the house, that tell them that you love them and care. By removing tasks from their to do list they see your love through your actions. Sometimes we can do these things in secret, so that the recipient only knows that someone cared enough to (eg. shovel their walk), which can let them know they are not alone. Falling through on commitments can be very detrimental to a relationship, or not pulling your weight around the house.
Gift giving
This is stereotypical with couples who are courting or dating. They may send each other flowers or chocolates, but the thoughtful gifts are much more valuable. Taking the time to give a gift that shows you know the person, and not necessarily that you have a lot of money, speaks volumes. Taking someone out for dinner, making them a scarf, or even just sending them a "thinking of you" note, are all expressions of love. Doing little things daily or gifts with out occasion can sometimes mean even more.
Words
Love notes obviously also fall under this category. Sometimes we forget to tell people in words how we actually feel. It is important to articulate our emotions as well as express them through actions. Compliments for no reason, telling someone why you love them and of course the very words "I Love You" are very powerful. Likewise, an insult can be devastating.
Time
You could do all the chores in the world for someone, but if they recognize time together as an expression of love, you may be having an alternative effect. Putting everything else on hold to spend time and pay attention to that person tells them that they are the most important thing. Take the time to listen without distraction. Make sure that, when you commit to time together, you keep that date and don't postpone for something else. Most of all, be present and make sure that you spend quality time with your loved ones. They will hear "I love you" in the silence of your undivided attention.
Today I would like to challenge everyone who reads this post to make a conscious effort for the next week, or even month, to express at least one of these forms of love every day. If we all get in the habit of it I think those whom we love will not only feel our love more, but perhaps subconsciously pass on these acts of love to others. And couldn't we all use more love?
FBM
Thursday 15 March 2012
The Intrusion of Intuition
A lot of people have heard of Myers Briggs. I have found that those who like horoscopes tend to think Myers Briggs is a crock; I on the other hand think this form of personality typing a little more reliable than the stars. Don't get me wrong. I do not by any means think that Myers Briggs is 100% accurate, but find it a better guide then astrology, which I appreciate more for its entertainment value.
I have been tested three times at different periods in my life and always come up the same; ESTJ (extroverted, sensing, thinking, judging). I have no intention of explaining the Myers Briggs testing process or the types here as my post is intended for another topic. If you want to look it up please see this link as a starting point:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator
I believe that I am only slightly a Sensing person, and still have some Intuitive tendencies. These tendencies I would rather do without quite honestly, as they only cause me great stress, probably due to my strong Thinking and Judging characteristics. I seem to have some level of intuition when I observe the situations friends and family are working through. While I greatly enjoy facts and support my personal decisions strongly on such information, I can look at the current path of others and, with rather good accuracy, predict where their current actions will take them.
Sounds great doesn't it? Being able to watch someone and say to yourself "if they continue working so hard they will most certainly reach their goals. Good for them!" Not so. Unfortunately, I tend to pick up on the more detrimental actions of others, and thus foresee the not so happy circumstances they are heading towards. In most cases, it is not my place to step in and advise them what to do. In some cases I may voice my opinion but can see it being discounted as preposterous before I even finish my sentence. In the rare case, my advice may be heeded or the person stops to think and they appear to side step some difficulty.
I am not saying that my intuition is always right, though often when it is strong it is accurate. Or that my opinion on how to change the potentially inevitable is correct. I am simply saying that it is excruciating to watch family or friends in such situations and not be able to help them in one way or another. I explained this to my husband with the following analogy: I am up on the top of a high building looking down at the street. A person is preparing to cross the street and in doing so will be hit by a bus. The bus may injure or kill them, but no matter how I yell (if I choose) from my vantage point they can not hear me. Sometimes they pause for just a moment and avoid the bus. Sometimes they don't. In the worst cases they are dragging someone across the street with them who too, by their own fault or not, will also be hit by the bus.
I hate watching these situations unfold. I want to be as supportive as possible in the hopes that they will wait for the bus to pass. If they do fall under the bus, maybe I can at least help them heal afterwords. But my logical side says that there must be some other way to cross the street if they must. I wish I could help them find it. I wish I didn't have this intuition. I wish there were no buses.
FBM
I have been tested three times at different periods in my life and always come up the same; ESTJ (extroverted, sensing, thinking, judging). I have no intention of explaining the Myers Briggs testing process or the types here as my post is intended for another topic. If you want to look it up please see this link as a starting point:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator
I believe that I am only slightly a Sensing person, and still have some Intuitive tendencies. These tendencies I would rather do without quite honestly, as they only cause me great stress, probably due to my strong Thinking and Judging characteristics. I seem to have some level of intuition when I observe the situations friends and family are working through. While I greatly enjoy facts and support my personal decisions strongly on such information, I can look at the current path of others and, with rather good accuracy, predict where their current actions will take them.
Sounds great doesn't it? Being able to watch someone and say to yourself "if they continue working so hard they will most certainly reach their goals. Good for them!" Not so. Unfortunately, I tend to pick up on the more detrimental actions of others, and thus foresee the not so happy circumstances they are heading towards. In most cases, it is not my place to step in and advise them what to do. In some cases I may voice my opinion but can see it being discounted as preposterous before I even finish my sentence. In the rare case, my advice may be heeded or the person stops to think and they appear to side step some difficulty.
I am not saying that my intuition is always right, though often when it is strong it is accurate. Or that my opinion on how to change the potentially inevitable is correct. I am simply saying that it is excruciating to watch family or friends in such situations and not be able to help them in one way or another. I explained this to my husband with the following analogy: I am up on the top of a high building looking down at the street. A person is preparing to cross the street and in doing so will be hit by a bus. The bus may injure or kill them, but no matter how I yell (if I choose) from my vantage point they can not hear me. Sometimes they pause for just a moment and avoid the bus. Sometimes they don't. In the worst cases they are dragging someone across the street with them who too, by their own fault or not, will also be hit by the bus.
I hate watching these situations unfold. I want to be as supportive as possible in the hopes that they will wait for the bus to pass. If they do fall under the bus, maybe I can at least help them heal afterwords. But my logical side says that there must be some other way to cross the street if they must. I wish I could help them find it. I wish I didn't have this intuition. I wish there were no buses.
FBM
Tuesday 13 March 2012
Spring is in the Air
Just a quick light post. I love Spring! I enjoy Summer the most out of all the seasons because the weather is the best and I can enjoy both the indoors and outdoors equally. Spring, however, is a promise and I think that is why I love it so. As soon as the weather begins to change I can feel it. No. I can smell it! I can't explain it exactly, and perhaps some readers will know what I mean, but I can actually smell Spring coming before the snow has even begun to melt. That smell holds the promise of Spring and all that comes with it and everything that it leads to. You can smell it in the breezy air that freshens up the cold staleness of winter. It makes me giddy!
For me, Spring gets rid of the yucky crap on the ground that use to be the magic of snow, but has lots all it's glimmer. Spring invites the rain to clean everything up, wake everything up and encourage it to start growing again. It brings warmer temperatures that, although come Fall we will find them chilly, seem ever so warm in the Spring. The sun begins to shine more and the days are getting longer again. I love going for walks again without having to put on ten layers of clothing. Even walking in the rain on warmer days is energizing; listening to the patter of the rain on the umbrella and splashing in the puddles. I fall asleep to thunderstorms with the sound of rain on the roof and window panes.
People even seem nicer as the weather perks up and often strangers say hello in the streets. It is like the feeling and wonder of Christmas renewed in the hope of Summer. And that is the biggest and brightest promise of Spring; that Summer is on it's way!
Enjoy!!!
FBM
For me, Spring gets rid of the yucky crap on the ground that use to be the magic of snow, but has lots all it's glimmer. Spring invites the rain to clean everything up, wake everything up and encourage it to start growing again. It brings warmer temperatures that, although come Fall we will find them chilly, seem ever so warm in the Spring. The sun begins to shine more and the days are getting longer again. I love going for walks again without having to put on ten layers of clothing. Even walking in the rain on warmer days is energizing; listening to the patter of the rain on the umbrella and splashing in the puddles. I fall asleep to thunderstorms with the sound of rain on the roof and window panes.
People even seem nicer as the weather perks up and often strangers say hello in the streets. It is like the feeling and wonder of Christmas renewed in the hope of Summer. And that is the biggest and brightest promise of Spring; that Summer is on it's way!
Enjoy!!!
FBM
Thursday 8 March 2012
Books, Books, Books
As a child I loved to visit the library. It was only about two blocks from our home so my mother often let us go there independently. The one in my home town resided in an old, unrenovated, white house near the main street. (Yup, small town) I think I temporarily fell out of love with books when school made reading a synonym with "work". In high school I loved writing essays and pouring over a novel looking for the perfect quote to back up my thesis. At that point I was in denial though and would have still told you I hated English class. Finally in University the fates got to me and I switched my major to English. Ever since I swoon over books, especially old hard cover copies. I avoid going to book stores unless I can afford to buy at least one great book, otherwise I will spend hours there looking through the shelves only to leave broken hearted; all those lovely books just waiting for someone to take them home, and I would love them so!
Inadvertently, I married a man who shares my longtime love for reading. My husband grew up in a home that did not really watch television. Really, did not watch it at all. I'm not even sure they owned a television. His parents learned English as a second language so he was encouraged to read books to pick up the language better. His choice of childhood literature is interesting, but very tell tale if you knew him. Encyclopedias. Yes, not because he had to, but because he enjoyed all the information. Information he uses to torment people by throwing unknown facts into conversations, or fables that sound like truths, thus prompting people to think of him as a "story teller" (also affectionately known as a liar). I like to think that he is so smart that he simply gets bored of standard conversation and likes to spice it up; sometimes with interesting facts and sometimes with outlandish lies based on facts. Regardless, he loves to read when ever he gets the chance.
When we got married we discovered that we had a very interesting combination of books. I, being the English Major, own a lot of Dickens, Hardy, Austen, Shakespeare, anthologies, poetry, and children's books due to ones purchased for school and for RD when she was younger. My husband is a nerd. I love his nerdiness and believe that I am (I hate to say this) a closet nerd as well. I say this because I not only know but understand the majority of his nerdy references. Even the very vague ones. My husband, therefore, owns many Star Trek novels, Douglas Adams, Michael Crichton, as well as copies of the classics he had to or chose to read, like Fitzgerald and Twain. Not to mention that he grew up close to the Shakespeare capital of Canada, Stratford, and thus we have many duplicate copies of Shakespeare plays, biographies and anthologies. In addition, we have both collected an assortment of Non-Fiction books, such as Home Repair, World History, Animal Kingdom Encyclopedia, self help, true stories, National Geographic and etiquette. If that was not enough, my husband is also very musically inclined as an organist / pianist. We have shelves of hymnals, bibles, sheet music in binders, collected works or sets of music by many composers, and my daughters guitar books.
Shortly after we got married we purchased two LARGE book cases (surprise) to match one we were given, and now have the beginnings of our own personal library. It actually doesn't look like much, but when you realize that there are additional book shelves in the nursery and my daughter keeps stacks of books in her room it starts to add up. I use to read to my daughter every night, until she became too cool for me. I started reading to my son before he was born. I will read him anything, given that he doesn't really understand any of it yet. I do still try to throw in the children's classics though; Alice in Wonderland, Treasure Island, Winnie the Pooh, The Princess Bride. He already, at 7 months, seems to love books. Yes, he will try to eat them if he gets his hands on them, but stares at the book shelves in awe and with a smile. The first time I took him to the library I thought he was going to have a fit. He is not crawling yet, but once he can I know I'll be chasing him around the stacks in the children's section. I think the word "Book" will be one of his first, which kind of makes me proud.
My husband keeps offering to buy me a Kindle (we play this game where we offer to buy what we consider extravagant things for one another, knowing that we would both rather put the money to savings). While I might enjoy books on tablet for the convenience of being able to cart around hundreds of books, I don't think I would enjoy it as much. I love new books. I love old books even more. Hard cover is a fav. Cracking the spine, smelling the paper, wondering where the book has travelled and how many other people have shared this same story just adds to the wonderment of the story. I am a terrible person for dog earing my books, which I know makes some people cringe. I only do it to books I own though. I like to look at them as if they are my own Velveteen Rabbits to pass on and share with my children. I guess that is why I know I will always be
FBM
Inadvertently, I married a man who shares my longtime love for reading. My husband grew up in a home that did not really watch television. Really, did not watch it at all. I'm not even sure they owned a television. His parents learned English as a second language so he was encouraged to read books to pick up the language better. His choice of childhood literature is interesting, but very tell tale if you knew him. Encyclopedias. Yes, not because he had to, but because he enjoyed all the information. Information he uses to torment people by throwing unknown facts into conversations, or fables that sound like truths, thus prompting people to think of him as a "story teller" (also affectionately known as a liar). I like to think that he is so smart that he simply gets bored of standard conversation and likes to spice it up; sometimes with interesting facts and sometimes with outlandish lies based on facts. Regardless, he loves to read when ever he gets the chance.
When we got married we discovered that we had a very interesting combination of books. I, being the English Major, own a lot of Dickens, Hardy, Austen, Shakespeare, anthologies, poetry, and children's books due to ones purchased for school and for RD when she was younger. My husband is a nerd. I love his nerdiness and believe that I am (I hate to say this) a closet nerd as well. I say this because I not only know but understand the majority of his nerdy references. Even the very vague ones. My husband, therefore, owns many Star Trek novels, Douglas Adams, Michael Crichton, as well as copies of the classics he had to or chose to read, like Fitzgerald and Twain. Not to mention that he grew up close to the Shakespeare capital of Canada, Stratford, and thus we have many duplicate copies of Shakespeare plays, biographies and anthologies. In addition, we have both collected an assortment of Non-Fiction books, such as Home Repair, World History, Animal Kingdom Encyclopedia, self help, true stories, National Geographic and etiquette. If that was not enough, my husband is also very musically inclined as an organist / pianist. We have shelves of hymnals, bibles, sheet music in binders, collected works or sets of music by many composers, and my daughters guitar books.
Shortly after we got married we purchased two LARGE book cases (surprise) to match one we were given, and now have the beginnings of our own personal library. It actually doesn't look like much, but when you realize that there are additional book shelves in the nursery and my daughter keeps stacks of books in her room it starts to add up. I use to read to my daughter every night, until she became too cool for me. I started reading to my son before he was born. I will read him anything, given that he doesn't really understand any of it yet. I do still try to throw in the children's classics though; Alice in Wonderland, Treasure Island, Winnie the Pooh, The Princess Bride. He already, at 7 months, seems to love books. Yes, he will try to eat them if he gets his hands on them, but stares at the book shelves in awe and with a smile. The first time I took him to the library I thought he was going to have a fit. He is not crawling yet, but once he can I know I'll be chasing him around the stacks in the children's section. I think the word "Book" will be one of his first, which kind of makes me proud.
My husband keeps offering to buy me a Kindle (we play this game where we offer to buy what we consider extravagant things for one another, knowing that we would both rather put the money to savings). While I might enjoy books on tablet for the convenience of being able to cart around hundreds of books, I don't think I would enjoy it as much. I love new books. I love old books even more. Hard cover is a fav. Cracking the spine, smelling the paper, wondering where the book has travelled and how many other people have shared this same story just adds to the wonderment of the story. I am a terrible person for dog earing my books, which I know makes some people cringe. I only do it to books I own though. I like to look at them as if they are my own Velveteen Rabbits to pass on and share with my children. I guess that is why I know I will always be
FBM
Tuesday 6 March 2012
Day Care vs Child Minding - Looking for the best but coming up short.
Up front, let me say that this post is coming out of my frustration in finding a local day care for my 7 month old son.
I began searching for a potential day care while I was pregnant. My husband and I had decided to go with a home day care for two main reasons; few if any businesses in our area will take children under 18 months old because the ratios of workers to infants, required by law, are too high and because we felt that home day cares often provide more care than simple child minding. I consider child care the type of service that actually cares for a child in the absence of their primary care givers; not only do they care for the necessities but also engage the child in activities and ensure their day is enjoyable and fun. What many, and in my opinion most, business (store front) day cares provide is actually child minding. Child minding, in my opinion, is simply making sure that your child is safe and healthy in your absence; perhaps playing with them if you have time, but for the most part feeding them, changing their diapers, and making sure they don't hurt themselves or any other child in the businesses care. In the town I live in there are a number of child minding services, a number of child care services, but in both cases few that are willing to take on children under 18 months of age.
I began my search with simple research. While I found out a little about some local businesses through their websites, I more so talked to friends who are moms and asked where they sent their children and why. One in particular I had inquired with because she has three young children, is a Good Teacher, and has a business day care (YMCA) connected to the school at which she works. I had heard mixed reviews about the day care in the past, and had even sent my daughter there almost a decade ago. I felt this friend would be able to provide an up to date, knowledgeable opinion about the care they provide. I was shocked to say the least. Even with the massive convenience that using the YMCA day care would provide her (one stop for child care and work) she choose to take her children to a day care facility about 15 minutes out of town! When I asked her why she indicated that she had done a lot of research and found that the one she choose actually had a structured, engaging schedule and great caregiver to child ratios. When I told her I thought she would take her kids to the YMCA day care that was at her school she simply gave me a look that said "Are you kidding?". Given that this was similar feedback to what I had heard all along, and that my grown daughter even said she would not let me send her brother there, after her experience, I put that option to rest.
Any other business day cares I was able to find all noted in their literature that they did not accept children under 18 months of age. So we began looking at home day cares instead. My sister had found a great home day care where she lives in Ontario, run by an ECE (Early Childhood Education) graduate. She was so pleased with the care that I thought I surely could find something at least similar here. I heard word that there are a large number of home day cares in our town, but was having difficulty finding them. It is somewhat understandable given that, once I child starts at a day care, they can sometimes be expected to be there for four years full time. With the lack of infant care there also seems to be a high demand for home day cares. However, many of these women (as they all seem to be) take few, if any infants as well. I was told flat out by one that it is too much work and not worth their time when they could care for toddlers who are mobile and more interactive. The Day Nurseries Act also prohibits someone from caring for too many children of a younger age, or more than five children (in addition to your own) without obtaining a licence.
Perhaps it is one or many of the above reasons that makes home day care providers so hard to get a hold of. I have contacted many over the past months and at best received an initial email in recognition of me contacting them. In that email they usually seem to be beginning some sort of correspondence, perhaps pose some questions or invite further inquiries from me. Once I email back...nothing. Not a phone call, not an email, not even a simple note to say they have no further positions or are not interested in my sons age group. I expect that they will not get back to me within 24 hours; they are caring for children and need time to respond. But weeks later with no answers is frustrating. Having worked for decades in office administration, I find this very bad form for anyone trying to run a business. Sadly, I had similar experiences when I contacted the store front day care businesses as well; often asked to leave a message, but never having it returned. The only logical answer to me is that there is such a copious demand for care in our community that these care providers can let customers (parents) slip away without another thought because another one will be there when they want one.
As a mother who is trying to not only return to work, but ensure that her son will be able to socialize in a safe engaging environment, I am beyond frustrated with this process. I have had two care providers agree to take care of my son, only to back out in the end; one because she is now moving and the other because she changed her mind and wanted more money. I have inquired with family, friends, friends of friends, checked newspapers and online sites daily and am still getting the same result. Does anyone think this may be a small factor in the increasing unemployment rate? I am one of the lucky ones who has an extremely understanding and flexible employer, but once my maternity leave is up, I need to return to work if I want to keep my job. Regardless of that, even if I could place my son in what I would consider a child minding service, he will not be old enough, and I would have needed to be placed on the waiting list about a year ago.
Conclusion? Right now, I just don't know. The clock is ticking. All I can do is keep contacting people and hope that someone responds. When that happens I guess I will hold my breath till I know they are trustworthy and dependable. It is my child after all. Until then...
FBM
I began searching for a potential day care while I was pregnant. My husband and I had decided to go with a home day care for two main reasons; few if any businesses in our area will take children under 18 months old because the ratios of workers to infants, required by law, are too high and because we felt that home day cares often provide more care than simple child minding. I consider child care the type of service that actually cares for a child in the absence of their primary care givers; not only do they care for the necessities but also engage the child in activities and ensure their day is enjoyable and fun. What many, and in my opinion most, business (store front) day cares provide is actually child minding. Child minding, in my opinion, is simply making sure that your child is safe and healthy in your absence; perhaps playing with them if you have time, but for the most part feeding them, changing their diapers, and making sure they don't hurt themselves or any other child in the businesses care. In the town I live in there are a number of child minding services, a number of child care services, but in both cases few that are willing to take on children under 18 months of age.
I began my search with simple research. While I found out a little about some local businesses through their websites, I more so talked to friends who are moms and asked where they sent their children and why. One in particular I had inquired with because she has three young children, is a Good Teacher, and has a business day care (YMCA) connected to the school at which she works. I had heard mixed reviews about the day care in the past, and had even sent my daughter there almost a decade ago. I felt this friend would be able to provide an up to date, knowledgeable opinion about the care they provide. I was shocked to say the least. Even with the massive convenience that using the YMCA day care would provide her (one stop for child care and work) she choose to take her children to a day care facility about 15 minutes out of town! When I asked her why she indicated that she had done a lot of research and found that the one she choose actually had a structured, engaging schedule and great caregiver to child ratios. When I told her I thought she would take her kids to the YMCA day care that was at her school she simply gave me a look that said "Are you kidding?". Given that this was similar feedback to what I had heard all along, and that my grown daughter even said she would not let me send her brother there, after her experience, I put that option to rest.
Any other business day cares I was able to find all noted in their literature that they did not accept children under 18 months of age. So we began looking at home day cares instead. My sister had found a great home day care where she lives in Ontario, run by an ECE (Early Childhood Education) graduate. She was so pleased with the care that I thought I surely could find something at least similar here. I heard word that there are a large number of home day cares in our town, but was having difficulty finding them. It is somewhat understandable given that, once I child starts at a day care, they can sometimes be expected to be there for four years full time. With the lack of infant care there also seems to be a high demand for home day cares. However, many of these women (as they all seem to be) take few, if any infants as well. I was told flat out by one that it is too much work and not worth their time when they could care for toddlers who are mobile and more interactive. The Day Nurseries Act also prohibits someone from caring for too many children of a younger age, or more than five children (in addition to your own) without obtaining a licence.
Perhaps it is one or many of the above reasons that makes home day care providers so hard to get a hold of. I have contacted many over the past months and at best received an initial email in recognition of me contacting them. In that email they usually seem to be beginning some sort of correspondence, perhaps pose some questions or invite further inquiries from me. Once I email back...nothing. Not a phone call, not an email, not even a simple note to say they have no further positions or are not interested in my sons age group. I expect that they will not get back to me within 24 hours; they are caring for children and need time to respond. But weeks later with no answers is frustrating. Having worked for decades in office administration, I find this very bad form for anyone trying to run a business. Sadly, I had similar experiences when I contacted the store front day care businesses as well; often asked to leave a message, but never having it returned. The only logical answer to me is that there is such a copious demand for care in our community that these care providers can let customers (parents) slip away without another thought because another one will be there when they want one.
As a mother who is trying to not only return to work, but ensure that her son will be able to socialize in a safe engaging environment, I am beyond frustrated with this process. I have had two care providers agree to take care of my son, only to back out in the end; one because she is now moving and the other because she changed her mind and wanted more money. I have inquired with family, friends, friends of friends, checked newspapers and online sites daily and am still getting the same result. Does anyone think this may be a small factor in the increasing unemployment rate? I am one of the lucky ones who has an extremely understanding and flexible employer, but once my maternity leave is up, I need to return to work if I want to keep my job. Regardless of that, even if I could place my son in what I would consider a child minding service, he will not be old enough, and I would have needed to be placed on the waiting list about a year ago.
Conclusion? Right now, I just don't know. The clock is ticking. All I can do is keep contacting people and hope that someone responds. When that happens I guess I will hold my breath till I know they are trustworthy and dependable. It is my child after all. Until then...
FBM
Saturday 3 March 2012
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” ― Marilyn Monroe
Like many young girls, and women for that matter, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted out of life. (Sounds greatly philosophical, but I assure you it never really feels that way during the process.) Many of the guys I dated, as I said before, lost interest somewhere along the way and started taking me for granted. In retrospect, I don't think they were completely to blame. Since I didn't know who I was I think I often tried to be whomever they seemed to want me to be. It's no wonder they got bored of me because the person they were seeing wasn't the real me anyway.
Perhaps that is all a little confusing. Lets skip to the point when I actually started to just be myself. Now, truth be told, I am still trying to figure out who I am as a whole, and people constantly change as they get older. What I am referring to here is the point at which I decided that I was going to say to a male population "This is who I am. If you don't like it, I am not the one for you. Please move on." Harsh? Not really. In the end it was what really worked and got me the best man for me.
When I started working at my present place of employment, some four years ago, I still was a little confused. I met my husband just days after starting my job (yes, we work together) and recall thinking "Here is a nice single guy, too bad he is not my type." Over the next few months I became friends with several people at work, including my husband. One of my co-workers had told me that, now that I was entering my 30's, I was finally going to be honest about who I really was, forget about looking for a guy, and then he would turn up out of the blue. I didn't take much heed to what she said. Let's face it, she married her husband in her early twenties after dating him for over 5 years. However, she could not have been more right if she had had a crystal ball sitting on her desk.
My husband and I hung out outside of work, became Facebook friends, and talked often during coffee breaks; things that we did with others that we worked with too. We both attended some local charity events and, since neither of us had someone to go with, went together. It wasn't until my husband went on another one of his semi-frequent business trips that everything solidified for me. Upon his return to work someone walking past my cubicle just happen to mention that he was back in the office. Completely innocent of course, but my heart skipped a beat and I instinctively stood up to go see him. Then I stopped. A rush of successive thoughts entered my head; what are you doing? why is my heart pounding? why am I suddenly so happy? did I miss him? why would I miss him? do I like him? OMG I like him!
I sat back down. When did this happen? I must be imagining this. I've got to see him.
So I decided to ask him if all the regular people from work could all get together for his birthday the following week. Go out to dinner or something. That would be a good excuse to go see him right away. When I walked into his office he was wearing a three piece suit and my heart jumped. (Any girl knows that guys always look their best in a suit and their most snugly in comfy clothes, so you can imagine the reaction I was having.) It must be noted that this is not standard attire for our place of work. Apparently he had just come back from a funeral service (sad) that he had played at (he plays organ and piano) and thus the suit (happy). Well, to shorten up the story a bit, with my heart all a flutter we made the birthday dinner plans.
The following week I showed up at his house after work only to find out that no one else was able to make it; they were either out of town on business or had children home sick. We sat and talked for a long time, during which I flat out told him how I felt. He responded later that evening on Facebook (I still make fun of him for this) and has claimed since that it was due to his shock that a girl would be so honest about her feelings up front. Since we did go out to dinner that night we decided to call that evening our first official date. On our second date I asked him what his "make or brake" list consisted of. We proceeded in an almost half business half date fashion discussing everything from pet peeves we could never live with to how many children we would want and when.
With all that hard core detail out of the way we finally addressed the issue of working together and dating. Our company policy was that HR must be informed to ensure there would be no conflict of interest. Given that we worked in different departments and neither of us had to answer to the other we were pretty safe, but decided to wait two weeks and then tell our boss. No need to stir the pot if nothing heated up and we decided to just be friends. Well, after two weeks we walked into our bosses office (a mutual close friend by the way) and broke the news. She was stunned and excited, but had no qualms. We asked to keep our relationship quiet in order that we would not draw attention from other staff, to which she agreed.
Three months later we decided to let the cat out of the bag subtly; I wore my engagement ring to work and waited to see who would notice and how fast the news would travel. That was actually kind of fun! Even though some people thought we were moving things rather quickly we knew that we had discussed all the important issues upfront, so there were no misunderstandings once our emotions really took hold. We truly built out relationship on a foundation of honesty and openness. One of the great things about my husband is that he truly loves me for who I am, and not who he wants me to be. Which makes me love him for who he is even more.
FBM
Perhaps that is all a little confusing. Lets skip to the point when I actually started to just be myself. Now, truth be told, I am still trying to figure out who I am as a whole, and people constantly change as they get older. What I am referring to here is the point at which I decided that I was going to say to a male population "This is who I am. If you don't like it, I am not the one for you. Please move on." Harsh? Not really. In the end it was what really worked and got me the best man for me.
When I started working at my present place of employment, some four years ago, I still was a little confused. I met my husband just days after starting my job (yes, we work together) and recall thinking "Here is a nice single guy, too bad he is not my type." Over the next few months I became friends with several people at work, including my husband. One of my co-workers had told me that, now that I was entering my 30's, I was finally going to be honest about who I really was, forget about looking for a guy, and then he would turn up out of the blue. I didn't take much heed to what she said. Let's face it, she married her husband in her early twenties after dating him for over 5 years. However, she could not have been more right if she had had a crystal ball sitting on her desk.
My husband and I hung out outside of work, became Facebook friends, and talked often during coffee breaks; things that we did with others that we worked with too. We both attended some local charity events and, since neither of us had someone to go with, went together. It wasn't until my husband went on another one of his semi-frequent business trips that everything solidified for me. Upon his return to work someone walking past my cubicle just happen to mention that he was back in the office. Completely innocent of course, but my heart skipped a beat and I instinctively stood up to go see him. Then I stopped. A rush of successive thoughts entered my head; what are you doing? why is my heart pounding? why am I suddenly so happy? did I miss him? why would I miss him? do I like him? OMG I like him!
I sat back down. When did this happen? I must be imagining this. I've got to see him.
So I decided to ask him if all the regular people from work could all get together for his birthday the following week. Go out to dinner or something. That would be a good excuse to go see him right away. When I walked into his office he was wearing a three piece suit and my heart jumped. (Any girl knows that guys always look their best in a suit and their most snugly in comfy clothes, so you can imagine the reaction I was having.) It must be noted that this is not standard attire for our place of work. Apparently he had just come back from a funeral service (sad) that he had played at (he plays organ and piano) and thus the suit (happy). Well, to shorten up the story a bit, with my heart all a flutter we made the birthday dinner plans.
The following week I showed up at his house after work only to find out that no one else was able to make it; they were either out of town on business or had children home sick. We sat and talked for a long time, during which I flat out told him how I felt. He responded later that evening on Facebook (I still make fun of him for this) and has claimed since that it was due to his shock that a girl would be so honest about her feelings up front. Since we did go out to dinner that night we decided to call that evening our first official date. On our second date I asked him what his "make or brake" list consisted of. We proceeded in an almost half business half date fashion discussing everything from pet peeves we could never live with to how many children we would want and when.
With all that hard core detail out of the way we finally addressed the issue of working together and dating. Our company policy was that HR must be informed to ensure there would be no conflict of interest. Given that we worked in different departments and neither of us had to answer to the other we were pretty safe, but decided to wait two weeks and then tell our boss. No need to stir the pot if nothing heated up and we decided to just be friends. Well, after two weeks we walked into our bosses office (a mutual close friend by the way) and broke the news. She was stunned and excited, but had no qualms. We asked to keep our relationship quiet in order that we would not draw attention from other staff, to which she agreed.
Three months later we decided to let the cat out of the bag subtly; I wore my engagement ring to work and waited to see who would notice and how fast the news would travel. That was actually kind of fun! Even though some people thought we were moving things rather quickly we knew that we had discussed all the important issues upfront, so there were no misunderstandings once our emotions really took hold. We truly built out relationship on a foundation of honesty and openness. One of the great things about my husband is that he truly loves me for who I am, and not who he wants me to be. Which makes me love him for who he is even more.
FBM
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