On our second date my husband and I discussed children; if we both wanted them, how many and when. Many people find that shocking, but there is a lot about our relationship that people find out of the ordinary. While I will perhaps get into that in a later post, I would like to pass along little things I learned having my son. I know girls who are currently pregnant, trying to get pregnant, and planning to do so down the road, and as the first of our group to have children I want to pass on what I little I know in the hopes that it may prove useful to one of them, or you.
About two months after getting married my husband and I found out we were pregnant. This only occurred about one month earlier than planned. It was like, once we decided that we would start trying it happened instantaneously. Having been pregnant once before, but a long time ago, I had a general idea of what to expect but needed some refreshers. With RD morning sickness was more of a "I'm going to be sick" feeling with no follow through. With my son there was more actually being sick. I found that making sure I ate very regularly helped a lot. There was not much that I couldn't eat and, with my doctor's approval, nothing was off the table (except alcohol of course). I also made sure that I always had something to drink on hand, which helped keep some of the queasiness at bay. I am one of those people who usually know I am going to be sick with plenty of warning, but this pregnancy had me caught off guard a number of times. Since I was still working I kept a tooth brush, mouth wash and gum on hand at the office.
My husband and I reviewed many books and web sites telling us what we needed for the baby coming home from the hospital. We eventually got a list from our hospital as well regarding what supplies we needed to provided there too. Adding in previous experience we came up with our bear essentials list so that, after the shower, we knew what we needed and didn't get sucked in to all the "extra" stuff. Here are a few of the things we learned in the process:
- Sleepers - at least 2 newborn and the rest 0 to 3 months because if the baby is over 7 lbs newborn may not fit
- diapers - again, we bought a small pack of newborn and then a larger one of the first size up. IF you can find a sale where the diapers are around .19 - .17 cents each then stock up. We found, based on weight, that the #3 size will fit baby the longest in most cases.
- bum cream - basically vaseline or a zinc based ointment or cream for diapering. I use a cream with a low percentage of zinc (15%) for every diaper use (sensitive skin runs in the family) to help prevent rash and have a container of higher grade (40%) for when a rash starts to show up (later on I also use the higher grade for bedtime when my son is sleeping longer).
-wipes - buy the largest multi-pack you can find because you will need lots and they never change size :)
TIP: when changing a diaper, put the clean diaper underneath FIRST, then undo the dirty one. This lets you wipe their bum, move the dirty one out of the way, and apply bum cream without too many accidental messes and, with a boy, great efficiency.
- if nursing, a breast pump. This will not only come in useful if you get engorged, but also allow you to pump and let someone else feed the baby every once in a while.
I realize that there is talk about nipple confusion, but personal preference is to introduce the baby to a bottle early on. If, heaven forbid, you should end up in the hospital like I did, you may not be able to nurse. Having baby already familiar with the bottle makes a stressful time like that much easier on everyone. Also, if you are nursing, consider pumping and freezing some milk as back up for just such an emergency. Though not as serious, you could also get sick and require medication that would prevent you from nursing for a little while. Milk, if stored properly, can last several months in the freezer and can always be used later to add to babies first cereals.
- diaper pail is a must to keep odours under control. We were going to pick up a Diaper Genie but a friend recommended the Diaper Champ. Almost identical in theory to the Genie but you can use your own garbage bags. It's not available in Canadian stores but we picked ours up off Kijiji.
- check out the stores for pricing on the things you need to buy, but hold off on buying right away. After the shower re-asses you list and checkout re-use it resources. Mom to Mom sales happen semi annually in many communities; basically all the moms hold one big indoor garage sale of all things kid related. Places like Little Lables or Once Upon a Child not only sell but buy good used clothing and furniture (with strict quality and safety standards). Watch stores for clearance sales on seasonal items 1 year in advance. Again, there is Kijiji and Ebay, but buyer beware on safety items, especially recalls and expiry dates. Dollar store is great for little sorting baskets, bibs, and wall decals. Also talk to other moms you know; many are happy to pass on items they no longer need or will lend them to you until they need them again (make sure you know if they want things returned so you can prevent passing them on by mistake). Also, make sure you sign up for Welcome Wagon if you community has one. They will provide tons of local vendor coupons and discounts for baby and you.
I saw one site that estimated first year cost for a baby to be ~ $10,000; one time costs about $3,000 (eg. furniture) and the balance in ongoing (eg. diapers). My husband and I spent ~ $900 on one time items which includes the crib (mattress & bedding), high chair, swing, stroller and matching car seat, change table, gliding rocker and foot stool, exercise saucer (Baby Einstein), clothing etc. Check out BabyCenter.com - great resources.
One last thought for this post; even if your family hosts a shower, see if friends and family will get together for a freezer party. About a month before hand, get everyone together for a Saturday of cooking and stock up the freezer while pampering the (very tired) mom to be. The first three weeks after baby is born are referred to as survival time, and the heat and serve meals will be a God Send. Make sure they are portioned to accommodate a the number of people in you family and take as little prep as possible. That way you can throw something in the oven, set the timer (or better yet the auto shut off) and forget it. When you have had no sleep for days it is a wonder what a good meal can do to boost energy and moral!
FBM
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