Before you meet my son, I think I'll take a break from the mommy talk and write about something different.
This morning I came to find out that my husband of a year and a half was still on Plenty of Fish. I was shocked to say the least and quipped "When you told me I was your prettiest wife I thought you were trying to make me feel better about a bad hair day, not make a confession!".
Truth is we both laughed, though he does often tell me I am his smartest wife, or his prettiest wife, or some other similar compliment. (I usually just tell him I feel bad for his other wives then.) The discovery made me think about past relationships though. Between my siblings, in-laws and my husband I often feel like a bit of a tart, to put it kindly, in comparison. My brother and sister both married the second person they ever dated. My in-law siblings are of the opinion that you don't even hold hands until you think the relationship is long term (a sentiment I find very endearing in the best sense of the word). Even my husband says I am only his second girlfriend, which is why we talk little of our past relationships.
When it comes to my romantic history there is a bit more to tell and a few interesting stories with that. I asked my husband once if he was ever curious about my previous beaus and he said he was satisfied simply that I chose him in the end; with heart felt statements like that I wonder why. Well, while I wont go into gory details, my husband will surely hear some new stories should he read this.
I had my first boyfriend in grade nine at the age of fourteen. While there were some teens already sexually active at that point, I was still at the stage of giggling and passing notes. He didn't attend my school and in fact non of the boys I dated in high school did. The fact is that I was pretty much a social outcast in elementary school; rarely invited to girls parties and made fun of by the boys. With a class size was no larger than twenty kids that makes you an outcast and prey to many mean jokes. Majority of these kids continued on to the same high school as me and, since the teens from other schools didn't know me, the segregation continued when it came to the opposite sex. I only dated three boys in all of high school, ending of course with RD's father (a term I use rather loosely).
When I moved away to university things changed a little. I was in a new dating world, and a bigger pond if you will, where no one had any immature predetermined opinions about me. At the same time I was trying to find a guy who would contradict my predisposition that all men (let's face it...boys) were groupers. A grouper is a type of bottom dwelling fish. While the name is coincidentally similar to the word "groper", another distasteful member of the male species, I feel the grouper better defines the type of scheming guys I often encountered. By definition a grouper is "typically having a stout body and a large mouth (and) are not built for
long-distance... swimming...They swallow prey rather
than biting pieces off it. They do not have many teeth on the edges of
their jaws, but they have heavy crushing tooth plates inside the pharynx...
They lie in wait, rather than chasing in open water...their mouth and gills
form a powerful sucking system that sucks their prey in from a
distance..." Sound familiar to any of you ladies?
I don't know how many guys "sucked me in" and led me to believe they were either of good intentions, or at the very least interested in more than just a physical relationship. Few made it past the "oh, by the way I have a child" test. One of my good guy friends (one of those good ones that just didn't "like me that way") asked me why I told them up front about RD and claimed I was trying to scare them off. I told him that if they were really interested in me it wouldn't scare them off and that I would rather be upfront than waste my time. I went out on a few dates, often resulting in the guy thinking he was owed something by the end of the evening; funny what they think a couple drinks is worth. I had my share of the more sustaining relationships, but those all followed the same pattern; loving and devoted, comfortable and optimistic, takes you for granted but still optimistic, MIA.
Going to have put a "to be continued" right there. Little one is up and we are off to the pool today.
Maybe later I can post some dating anecdotes.
Talk at you later!
FBM
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