Alright, I'm on a MM quote kick. I kind of like linking her quotes to my posts, if I can find one relevant enough. We will see how long it lasts.
Since the last couple posts could leave many people thinking I am a guy basher, or simply cynical, I thought I would write a little about the good guys I've come across in my life. In my typical organizational fashion I think it best we work chronologically. First, of course, would be my father. He is a broad, not fat, tall man of over 6 feet with a very gentle face and demeanour, despite his strong presence. He very rarely yelled at us as children, and while he can be loud it is usually in a boisterous manner or because he is singing at church. He worked a lot for not a lot of pay, but made sure we were all taken care of. We didn't get to spend a lot of time with him as children because his weekends were filled with maintenance around the home. I learned to go find him and sit a talk to him while he worked. As I got older he let me help him a little. Since he did his best to do all the house hold repairs himself, I actually learned a lot that way. Taught me that books are wonderful resources, libraries have lots of free books, and it costs less and you learn more by doing something yourself than to pay someone to do it for you.
The next really great guy I knew, and still know, was my best friend from high school. It was only in retrospect that I realized what a good loyal friend he was, which just goes to show that you never really appreciate what you have. We hung out with the gang at lunch time, had similar classes, did homework together, went to the same parties, regular high school type stuff. When ever the other kids were giving me a hard time he was there to talk to and the few times I had to deal with a break up he would console me. I think he was really hurt when he found out I was pregnant and wondered why I hadn't gone to him when I the relationship went really bad. He was the one person I found it hardest to tell, aside from my family. As a true blue friend he offered to take his older (and very large) brother and teach the guy a lesson or two. He claimed it would make us both feel better, but I never consented. I think it was after we graduated that I found out he had a crush on me all through high school. He wondered how I never knew considering he would always call me about homework but never have it done the next day. As an objective reader I am sure it seems kind of obvious to you as well but I was quiet oblivious. I just didn't like him that way; once I thought I did, but I quickly realized it was just wishful thinking. It is true that you can't change the way you feel, which made it easier to understand when I was on the other end of the equation later on.
In university I tended to hang out with the guys more often than the girls, probably after being jaded by the way girls acted in high school. The ones that I could consider friends were more direct and honest about things. Twice in university I found myself at the other end of that terrible equation where I liked a guy who really, truly just wanted to be friends. There were also the guys who worked at the bar with me. I was a little intimidated by the big bouncer guys at first but quickly found most of them to be teddy bears at heart. The second year I worked there I became assistance manager, which meant a lot more responsibility and authority. I often had to kick drunk people out of the bar, people you might see the next day in class, and really appreciated the support those guys gave me. Often I would see them in the back ground just watching in case I needed a little muscle backup.
It may not seem like it from the outside, but a job like that can be dangerous. If you don't have the support of the bouncers they could leave you hanging out to dry in a bad situation or simply not respect your authority. I recall vividly the first pub event my boss let me handle alone. It was being sponsored by the student union who had arranged for a WWF style wrestling event in the pub. I even think Honky Tonk Man was there. Anyway, they had this huge ring set up in the middle of the pub and the wrestlers would come out of the back, like on t.v., and get the crowd all riled up depending on if they were intended to be the good guy or the bad guy. This one wrestler came out and started harassing the crowd and really seemed to be getting in this one guys face. As I stood there horrified, the patron on the far side of the ring from me stood up and took a swing at the wrestler...THE WRESTLER! None of the door men moved. All I could think was "oh shit!" and started running over there...yes...think about that one...I was running over to break up a fight between a wrestler and a guy who thought he could take on a wrestler. Luckily Blaine, the bouncer on the far side of the ring, saw me bolt and, afterwords, told me he thought "oh shit" and ran too catapulting himself over a couple guys and getting the shocked wrestler in a head lock. Once Blaine had moved the other bouncers took off too. By the time I was there I simply needed to take care of crowd control, thank god, because I don't know what I would have done. After the night was over the bouncers all told me they thought it was part of the show until I bolted. Their quick moves stopped the fight from turning into a brawl because friends on both sides were ready to jump in. In any supervising job I've had I have worked with the motto "never ask someone to do something you are not willing to do yourself". I think people see that and it gains respect for you, your authority and your leadership. If those guys hadn't respected me, I'd probably... well who knows what would have happened.
The final good guy, or I should say the best guy, is of course my husband. I will leave the story about him for later because I think he deserves a post all his own. It is true, however, that all the good guys and bad guys I met before my husband made me realize quickly that I had found not only a great guy, but The Guy.
FBM
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